Day 19
by dennisedmons
Thoughts on the Mayo Clinic’s page on antidepressants. You can find the full page here.
As I was perusing it, looking out at the grey clouds outside, a grey that seemed to permeate into my brain, regardless of how much I try to intuitively tell myself that it’s all seasonal, it’s all in my head, etc., I realized that holy shit there are a bunch of things out there.
My recent history:
My doctor had prescribed my sertraline (a cheap version of zoloft), and he thought that I was having some trouble with serotonin. That’s fine. But when I started taking it, everything in the whole world seemed to be viewed through a clear lens of molasses, if that makes sense. So on to the next drug. We didn’t do what the Mayo clinic (and the pharmaceutical companies) wanted—we quit early. Then we jumped on the bupropion train.
Bupropion is Wellbutrin for people with no money, basically. It’s the same stuff they put in Zyban, which helps people quit smoking, basically by altering the way your brain makes and receives dopamine. It was fine, but I walked around with a boner (I’m sorry for being crass, but it’s true), and food tasted like, well, cardboard. It seemed to limit my highs and assist with my lows, but not in the extreme way that sertraline did. But in the end, I felt, a little off.
Don’t get me wrong; this is not a blog to bash depressed people. Many of my friends have benefitted or are benefitting from sertraline (one of the more prescribed drugs on the market), but it just wasn’t right for me.
So here I go, clear-headed but a little blue… Reminding myself that there’s a lot of love in this world. If only it was as in-my-face as these grey clouds.
4 aspects of improvement:
- physical: 15 minutes of exercise and lots of good food
- mental: I read about 50 pages of a pretty interesting nonfiction book
- emotional: trying to mindfully experience life instead of mindlessly reacting
- spiritual: 10 minutes of meditation after breakfast
Hey there–popped over from NaBloWriMo, and I have a little history on all the OTHER sides of depression… meaning I’ve never been depressed, but I have a master’s in psych and have loved some depressed people through extremes (even calling the police and having one arrested because he was suicidal). I think if you can cognitively and behaviorally work through the symptoms, that probably is a better plan. That isn’t to say there aren’t people who really need medication–there are–it is a matter of degree, coping skills and immediate resources. But IF YOU CAN, I really believe it is a better long-term plan. Regular sleep, exercise, good diet, and mindfulness (using whatever tools work for you–anything from meditation or yoga to journaling, to self-talk) so you can really evaluate how you are… calling on social support is good too–a little reality check never hurt anyone. I wish you a ton of luck!
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